Ernest Holmes writes:
“We can sit in the shade or move into the sunshine. Sitting in the shadow we may not really believe that there is any sunshine. But the sun would be there all the time and all the time we are in bondage the real freedom exists. It is there but we must awake to It.” ~Science of Mind, p. 411.3
This quote describes my life story—and I know it resonates with many who have walked their way into a new life. It doesn’t matter how we arrived at our awakening; what matters is that it brought us belonging, peace, and love. If your path led you there, then YES—celebrate it.
We tend to talk about “shadow” more in winter when the days grow short. And if you think about it, our literal shadow appears when the sun is brightest. It shows up because there is light.
Every one of us has a shadow—not because we are bad or broken, but because we are human. It’s the part we don’t usually want to reveal, because it doesn’t feel loving, kind, or joyful. And yet, in its true essence, the shadow is not negative at all. It is simply: unloved, unseen, unintegrated.
Yes, it holds the energies we label “dark”: shame, guilt, fear, unworthiness. And it also holds our disowned brilliance—our power, creativity, confidence, and boldness—wrapped in layers of protection.
My own path to the light—and to owning my shadow—came through Centers for Spiritual Living. I spent most of my early years, into adulthood, as a high-functioning drug addict and alcoholic. And on some level, I believed I deserved to be miserable.
When I walked into my first “church,” something shifted instantly. I felt a sense of belonging I had never experienced before. That community, that teaching, that atmosphere of unconditional acceptance—that was my path to redemption. And it became my path to sobriety.
Here’s the funny twist: my sobriety story is also part of my shadow. I didn’t go through a traditional recovery program—those programs are powerful and save millions of lives. My sobriety came through the teachings of Ernest Holmes. After 23 years clean and sober, people assume I walked a familiar path, and when I explain mine, some want to doubt its validity. And that’s what the shadow is: the parts of ourselves we resist owning—whether it’s our brilliance or our insecurities.
Stepping into the light doesn’t eliminate the shadow. It simply doesn’t allow it to drive the bus.
So, let me be honest: when I’m hungry, angry, lonely, or tired—my shadow grabs the wheel and aims for the ditch.
That’s when I pause, breathe, and ask:
“What are you trying to show me? What needs healing now?”
And then I gently return to the driver’s seat of my life.
Life is a journey.
We will all have “days.”
But those days do not get to define us—unless we hand them the keys.
The light is always there.
Freedom is always there.
Wholeness is always there.
Just like Holmes said:
“The sun would be there all the time… but we must awake to It.”
And every time we wake up—every time we re-claim our seat in the driver’s chair—we bring another piece of the shadow into the light and discover, again and again, that we are whole.
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