How are you in relationships?

I know, that might sound like an odd question — but really, how we show up in our relationships says a lot about how we’re showing up in our relationship with the Divine.

Ernest Holmes once said, “Everything we see—plants, animals, humans, every visible thing—is a manifestation of God, differing only in degree. And every manifestation contains, in essence, the whole, just as one drop of ocean water holds the same essence as the entire sea.”

If I believe that’s true — and I do — then everything and everyone I’m in relationship with (including myself) is the Divine in form.

I tend to see my life through two lenses.

The first lens is from the time when I didn’t know I was connected to anything greater — the years filled with pain, emotional and physical abuse, and a lot of numbing through alcohol and drugs.

The second lens began when I discovered The Science of Mind teachings through Religious Science (now Centers for Spiritual Living). That’s when I found sobriety and started to actually feel my connection with everything around me.

Before that awakening, my relationships — with others and with myself — were rooted in self-doubt, fear, dislike (sometimes even hatred), and a deep sense of not belonging. I didn’t like myself, so I attracted partners who reinforced that image. I didn’t respect myself, so I didn’t get much respect in return. And when I finally walked away, I’d find someone new who mirrored the same story right back to me.

Fast forward — I’ve now been with my husband for 22 years, married for 19. Before him, my relationships rarely lasted more than eight years. I used to joke that my longest relationships were with my dogs.

Back then, I lived in a constant state of hurt, judgment, and avoidance. All relationships start with promise (otherwise, why start them at all?). But once the “honeymoon” fades, those little comments, gestures, and annoyances start to sting. And since most of us were never taught how to actually talk about our hurts, we bury them.

And you know what buried hurts become? Mountains. Because molehills don’t stay small forever. Once we start judging or labeling our partner, it’s not long before we start wondering why we’re even in the relationship at all — forgetting that this is the same person we were once crazy about.

So how did I move from abusive, toxic relationships to a marriage built on love, respect, and mutual cherishing?

First, I had to find myself.

No one on this planet — soulmate or otherwise — can complete you. You have to complete yourself. You have to love yourself so fully that anyone who comes into your life is simply the icing on your cake.

If you expect someone to fill your empty spaces, you’re setting yourself (and them) up for disappointment. No one can live up to unspoken expectations — especially the ones we don’t even realize we have.

Once you’ve found yourself and meet someone who sparks your interest, be honest. Be open. Be vulnerable. It’s not easy, but when you show up authentically from the start, there are no surprises later. And if your truth scares someone away, they weren’t your person.

Don’t shrink yourself to fit into a relationship. You’ll only resent it later — and trust me, if you get married, divorce isn’t cheap (financially or emotionally).

And maybe most importantly: don’t project your emotions onto your partner — or anyone else. Learn to pause and ask yourself, What’s really going on here? Then do the inner work to move through it. Because when you do, you’ll find yourself living from a place of peace, love, and authentic connection — a true reflection of the Divine within you.

And for those of you who’ve already figured this out — thank you for lighting the way. I’m beyond grateful to finally be living what I used to only hope for: a relationship built on love, honesty, and laughter.

In a world full of external distractions and easy excuses, the true path to personal transformation often lies hidden within, waiting to be uncovered. By shifting our focus inward, we can discover the profound power of our own responses, turning blame into empowerment and stagnation into growth. This deeper spiritual exploration challenges us to confront our inner truths, fostering a sense of responsibility that unlocks new levels of freedom and possibility. Imagine reclaiming your creative energy from the shadows of complaint and reaction, stepping into a life of conscious choice and authentic connection. Yet, this journey requires courage and honesty, revealing layers of self-awareness that can reshape how we navigate challenges. Dive deeper into this inviting practice and see how embracing your inner world can lead to lasting change, but only if you're ready to take the first step.

I know the power, the presence, the One Life that is God is me. It is over me, around me, through me, as me. There is no separation there is only One. This one is Love, therefore I am loving and I am loved. All God is, I AM.

I speak my word now knowing this connection, this unconditional love; it has always been, it will always be and it is here with me now. I don't have to seek which already exists, I just need to know. When I know this Divine Presence within, I know and see God all around me. This knowing brightens my day and lightens my load. When I truly know God, I know Love.

I give thanks for this deep connection and knowing to the One Power, the One Presence, the One Mind, the One Heart, the One Life, God as it seeks its manifestation through me and all things everywhere.

I release these words into the Law knowing as it is spoken it is done. I let go, I let God and So It Is.

I am open to receiving my good because I know my good is my God. The unlimited power of the Divine that lives and breathes and as its existence as me in microcosm is only limited by me. Everywhere I go, everything I do, everything I see, is God in form. God knows, all, sees all is all.

Because I am one with that power and presence, I live my life from a place of perpetual knowing and understanding. I am here in this form to learn and grow spiritually. I am here to understand the connection between It and me. Nothing else really matters. As I grow closer to this understanding, the easier life becomes. The kinder I am the more kindness I receive. Grace is the ultimate goal in my life; to feel it, to know it, to be it. 

I give thanks for the grace and understanding that fills my heart to overflowing. 

I release these words backing the One Mind from whence they came. Knowing that God speaks through me. I let go and I let God and so it is.

In knowing there is only One Life, that life is God; that life is whole, completely, and perfect. And that life is my life now. I know that the peace that surpasses all understanding is within my for I am a unique, individualized manifestation of God in form. I am part of the quantum soup of all life. I cannot exist without it and it cannot exist without me.

I claim right here and now that I stand tall and confident in all my experiences. I allow myself to have clear boundaries that are expressed lovingly and clearly. I refuse to take things personally for I know that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools and information they have been given. I am seeing through the eyes of God and I know the eyes of God are looking back and seeing me. I am choosing to be a better version of myself every single day because I know there is always room for my consciousness to grow and expand.

I give thanks for this clarity of purpose and peace of mind that expresses through me now.

I release these words into the law knowing that love shows the way and the law makes that way possible. I let go and I let God And so it is!