“In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel it’s impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but what it is to be human. All of us derive security and comfort from the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. We really don’t want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down…so whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to “stay” and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Discursive mind? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What’s for lunch? Stay! What am I doing here? Stay! I can’t stand this another minute! Stay! That is how to cultivate steadfastness.” ~Pema Chodron. “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times.” 

Ernest Holmes reminds us that fear is “nothing more nor less than the negative use of faith … faith misplaced.”

So, the question becomes, can you listen to your fear without giving it the wheel to drive the bus of your life? First let me explain the bus analogy. I believe we are made up of a lot of different parts, which you can actually name: Angry Abbie, Abundant Angi, Bashful Betty, Beautiful Bea, etc. All those emotions want to consume you and want to drive the bus. Some of them make you feel powerful, and some of them, let's be frank, make you feel like shit. The trick isn't kicking any of them off the bus — they're all allowed to ride along. The trick is deciding who gets to hold the wheel.

Honoring and listening to your fear with curiosity and compassion helps you identify what the impetus is to what you're feeling. This can work with all your parts, by the way, and today we are discussing fear. If you're comfortable, sit in a quiet space and talk to your fear. Why is it showing up? When was the first time you experienced this particular fear? Then close your eyes and listen. You might be surprised how much your fear has been trying to protect you all along, even clumsily. Once you have a clear understanding, maybe write down some notes; also known as journaling. Notice patterns. Fear often repeats itself in disguise — same root, different costume.

I am kinder to other people than I am to myself. I had a discussion with a prayer partner this week, and we agreed that is probably true for most of us. Nobody on this planet knows you better than you. Maybe the next time you start to be critical of yourself, you show yourself the same compassion you'd show a child instead. Ask yourself, if this was a three-year-old, what would I be saying to it right now? You'd probably explain to them that there is nothing to be afraid of and give them examples of when they have been brave. Say those same words to yourself. You've earned them too.

It is impossible to eradicate fear. Instead, let's bring some spiritual awareness to it and let it be a catalyst for our courage.

Blessings on your journey,
Rev. Gayle